Things I am afraid to tell you
I have been listening and following Jess Lively for a few years now and periodically she does a podcast on The Lively Show about what she’s afraid to tell her followers. I love this and how it inspires others that follow her to do the same, which is what I am going to do today. I’ve definitely felt like I’ve been holding back and have felt disconnected because of it. So, here goes …
I’ve been drinking more alcohol than normal. I’ve gotten into a routine of a drink, maybe two, per day. Some times social and other times buffering for stress (another post on buffering coming soon). Do I think I have a problem? Nope. But, it’s a habit that I don’t want to keep because I know it does not serve my overall health and well-being.
I’m chubby. I have gained 10 pounds (4.5 kilos) since January and I am packing some additional junk in the trunk (and belly, boobies, arms, face…). The cool thing is, I’ve changed my mindset with this. Previously, I would have berated myself into oblivion over weight gain but now I don’t attach any personal judgement to it. It is some weight and not a reflection of the person I am.
I’ve been eating cheese. I normally follow a plant-based diet. For me, this means no meat/fish/chicken (etc.), no dairy and no eggs. But, holy shit, it’s been hard these last few months. Not impossible but tough. We spent most of our time in Spain with family and cooked at home; however, when eating out or traveling with the girls (by myself) - I had to make choices without the luxury [of time, convenience] to seek out veg options.
My kids are driving me crazy. Obviously, I love these little women BUT we have had almost 24/7 of quality time for 2 months. I’ve had to apologize to them more than a few times for not being the best version of myself due to my negative reaction to some stressful situations. Thankfully, they are very forgiving ladies. We are settling in now and they’re headed off to a new life at an amazing independent school in just a few days.
I have felt like a failure as a wellness coach. I've not felt like a great role model based on the weight gain and not eating the diet that feels best for me; however, I don’t subscribe to wellness being only food, drink and exercise. It’s also what one thinks and other daily actions. I’ve temporarily fallen out of some good habits, added in some bad and, in addition, I’ve practiced a lot of growth in being more mindful. I’ve learned to be present and worked hard to take this time to change my thoughts about all the above and the other many situations. My wellness is better than ever because of this.
In the end, growth is not always linear. It comes in spurts and fits then maybe levels out and starts over. I have been nervous to share this but am happy to have done so. I am stronger than ever in my endeavor to be a wonderful version of myself in mind, body and spirit. I am more empowered than ever moving forward as a woman, mother, wife and wellness professional. ♥
p.s. Here is a picture of myself and family that I did not share previously (because I don't think it flatters me) but it's so significant that I've attached it. It's last Sunday, when we finally arrived in London, and were having our first meal as a reunited family that had just overcome some interesting obstacles and journey to arrive at that table together.
Cheers to new beginnings!